Archive for February, 2009

A conversation with God

Posted: February 6, 2009 in Writings

Oh god
Who are you?
Yes, God
You exist?
Yes son, I exist
Wow, I didn’t know that! Where are you?
I am with you… I am in you… I am you
Yes son
Can you help me then?
I can help you son
What’s wrong with me god?
You’re living… living your life with all its complications and mysteries… nothing’s wrong with you… you’re just living!
I feel sad god, please help me?
It’s good to feel sad… feel sad, be sad, and enjoy it…
I’m angry, I have tears in my eyes, my hands are shaking, my lips are trembling, my body is hurting and my mind is suffering!
Just cry
How can I?
I can’t cry… I’m a guy, guys don’t cry
Fools don’t cry, and you’re not a fool, you’re just fooling yourself!
But people will think…
Fuck people
Oh god! You said fuck!
Yes son?
Is there heaven?
Yes son
What is heaven?
Life is heaven, your life is heaven, your body is heaven, your tears are heaven, your sadness and happiness are heaven, YOU are heaven
I am heaven?
Yes son
How can I be happy? How can I be in heaven?
What to love?
Love yourself, love your life, love the sea, love the tree, love the sky… love somebody
Yes son
Do you love somebody, god?
I am love son
Yes, bullshit
But what if I love to…..
To what son?
You know, you’re god
Yes son
Can I?
No son, you can’t
You just can’t
But explain to me god
Read my book
Which one is your book?
I don’t know
How come you don’t know? You’re god!
All of them
And I will find the truth in your books?
Can you keep a secret son?
Sure god!
Fuck my books
God! You said fuck
Sorry, forget about my books
And how can I find the truth?
The truth is in you
In me?
In you
But I’m a sinner, how can the truth be in a body of sinner
You’re not a sinner
I’m not?
No son
But I do….
You do what?
You know, you’re god
Oh yes, right
It makes me a sinner doesn’t it?
Yes son, it does
So I’m a sinner
You’re a sinner
So the truth is in a body of a sinner
Yes it is
So the truth is a sin
Can you keep a secret son?
Sure god
You’re not a sinner
I’m not? But I did…. U know
Yes son, I know, but you’re not a sinner
But your books
Fuck my books
What is asin then, god?
Sin is….
What is asin god?
I don’t know
But you’re god!
Sin is to forget
To forget?
To forget
To forget what?
To forget to smile, to forget to love, to forget to live
Oh god, that’s so simple, I can easily make it to heaven
You are in heaven
Yea right… So what happens when I die?
What happens when I die god?
I don’t know
But you’re god
Yea right, I am god
So what happens?
You go to heaven
But I am in heaven
Yes right, you are… can you keep another secret?
Sure god
You’re not going to die
I’m not going to die?!
You’re not going to die
But everybody dies, of course I’m going to die one day
No You’re not
How come?
Your body will die, not your soul
Not my soul?
Not your soul
What will happen to my soul
It will rise
Where to?
To the skies
And then
It will just rise, with all the other souls
So there’s going to be another life up there
Yes, cool
Yes son?
You know, you’re not that bad after all
Thanks son
I don’t hate you anymore
Thanks son
Yes son?
Since you’re that good, can you find me somebody to love?
Why son?
I need somebody to love god
Look for somebody son
I’m looking, but I can’t find
Look more
I’m exhausted!
You are not, you just think you are, stop thinking this way and you will find love
What if I don’t?
You will
But you can help me
I can’t
But you’re a god!
I’m not a fucking god!
You can’t curse, you’re god!
I’m not god
Who are you then?
I’m you
Where is god then?
I don’t know!

Wael Koubeissy
Le 16-01-2004